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Bruno's ABC in Marie Claire Magazine

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Austria's top fashion journalist has now taken over one of Britain's top fashion magazines. Bruno appears on the July cover of Marie Claire (UK) with supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio.

Inside, he shares his personal fashion A to Z as only Bruno can, viciously ripping through a veritable who's who of fashion, music, and pop culture at large.

Among the highlights:

"L is for... ze little black child. Thanks to Madonna und Bruno, it's zis season's vardrobe essential."

"M is for... Mr. Universe. Ich helped Arnie vin zis for his final time in 1984. Ich met him at ze vay-in vere he was just over ze weight limit und needed to lose two ounces in seven minutes. Ich vas only too happy to help out.."

"O is for... Orlando Bloom. He's basically obsessed mit me. I don't vant to use ze word stalker, but ven ich vas at Milan Fashion Veek I stayed at ze Hotel Malecci. Guess who checked in to ze same hotel two hours later... Orlando Bloom! Coincidence? Ich don't think so.."

"P is for... Pink. Just vatching him now on MTV. A great singer, great fashion sense, und so hunky!."

"U is for... undervear. Try not to go mit out it too often or you'll end up having to play hackysack mit your kugels just to keep zem off ze ground. Personally, ich just leave off mein unterhosen for appropriate occasions, like if I'm going to ze beach, or if I'm vearing a kilt und zere's a chance ich vill be photographed getting out of a car.."

The rest of Bruno's ABCs includes razor-sharp commentary on topics like bulimia, giant pandas, Adolf Hitler, and anal bleaching. True fashion historians, however, will appreciate the fruits of the Bruno-Alessandra photo shoot, specifically styled by the magazine to re-create a classic Versace ad campaign from the 1980s.

Read some more Bruno quotes and our little Bruno dictionary. The Bruno movie will be unleashed on theatres around the world on July 10.

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